“Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason. Live it, love it and learn from it.
As with most youngsters of my age, I always dreamt about going to the USA for higher education.
I almost took it for granted that this would be the big pit stop in my career. I was flabbergasted when my visa was rejected, not once but twice. I had no clue why because most of my friends got through and landed there easily.
I was meritorious, I thought I was almost more deserving than most of my friends, but yet it did not work out for me. This left me very bitter about many things, about the system, about the country, about the process and even the people at the consulate.
And the bitterness continued for a very long time, a few years in fact. It grew worse every time my friends called up and spoke to me about the United States. Then, there were a series of incidents that happened in my life and it changed my whole perspective.
I realised I was lot happier, lot more stable and lot more oriented to life than most of those who chose a career there. Nothing wrong about it, but I felt life would have been very different if things had not happened the way it happened for me in life.
Most of us feel very unpleasant or disturbed every time we get into some situations, be it simple things like getting stuck in traffic jams or complex things like getting stuck in business issues. And we often ask, “why me?”, “why now?” or even “why this?”
But just turn it around and look back into life, you would more often than not realise that every time you thought you were rejected from something good in life, you were actually being re-directed to something better.
At first you may not realise this or you may not be able to see it from that perspective, but focus on the situation a little deeper and you are bound to realise that it all happened for your good.
If you are aware and sensitive, you would almost feel like someone has orchestrated the whole thing for you to realise something, or learn something or simply get something better.
You may face challenges, roadblocks and obstacles along the way, but with persistence and patience you may realise and see the better and the positive side of the story.
So what do we do when some incidents in life or rather when accidents in life or business happen? How do we cope up with situations that were not meant to happen, when people whom we believed betray us; when investments that we were sure of benefitting us, plunge down; employees whom we trust, let us down; clients whom we work hard for, just desert us?
Just remember this “Everything happens for a reason. Every person whom we meet will have a role in our lives, be it big or small.
Some hurt us, some betray us and make us cry, so we become stronger. Some teach us lessons, not to change us, but for us to realize our mistakes and to help us grow and make us a better person.
And some would simply inspire us to make us happy, whole and complete again.
Many times, we may not realise this easily, because it usually comes camouflaged as hurdle or a problem. So when encountered with a hurdle or a problem, we just have to learn to deal with it, because there’s a meaning behind everything.
And even if it is the right time with the wrong person or the right person at the wrong time, eventually things will fall into place and in a way that is the best for you.
Sometimes bad things that happen in our lives, put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us. So count on your blessings and express gratitude for what you have.
A group of survivors of the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Centre New York (who were not in the building on the fateful day of the attack), once shared why they were not there at that time in the World Trade Centre.
They were some of the most incredible reasons and their stories were of so many “little things” that someone would almost brush them off as stupid.
Oneman’s car did not start and he had to travel by public transport, while someone else was away (from the building) because it was his turn to bring doughnuts for the office staff. Someone missed the bus, while someone spilled food on the clothes and had to take time to change.
So the next time your alarm does not work, or your children insist on you dropping them at school, or even simple things like you can’t find the car keys, do not yell or get frustrated, instead reflect and count your blessings, look for the gift or the opportunity that this scenario presents for you.
Live life always with attitude of gratitude. People change so you can learn to let go; you believe lies so that you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself; Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right; and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.
So, keep calm when things go wrong and trust that everything happens for a reason, even when you are not wise enough to see it.
Sri Bharatam is the Founder and Chief Mentor of Kuza Biashara Limited, a capacity building organisation coaching youth and SME owners across Africa.