Overnight celebs: How Ugandan musicians use witchcraft to turn boring songs into hits

Have you been wondering why Ugandan musicians are more popular than others in the East African region? Well, there is this nasty story of child ritual murders, witchcraft and Illuminati that just does not go away.

You see those Ugandan hits songs? The ones that make you guys wiggle your bottoms like crazy when DJs play them? As it turns out, it is very likely that they were boring songs and it is witchcraft that turned them into hits!

Child sacrifice and use of witchcraft are similar to the albino murders that bedevilled Tanzania, and are now disturbing Malawi. Some Ugandans think that the success of our musicians is linked to these cruel killings, devil worship and black magic. Living in a superstitious society is not easy.

Even as we hold general elections, swear in almost five hundred members of parliament, arrest and incarcerate Kizza Besigye, pass a seven billion dollars budget, none of these events can push child murders and related mambo jumbo completely off the Ugandan media space.

A couple of cases of musicians sacrificing their siblings and consulting witchdoctors to boost their music career have been reported. I have heard the same in Tanzania where, for instance, singer Diamond’s success was attributed to a witchdoctor’s voodoo, claims that he – of course – denied.

The most recent case in Uganda is of a six-year-old boy whose head was cut off in an alleged bid to help promote a musicians’ dwindling career.

Sounds unconnected? Well, the killer who severed the boys head – the deceased was the killer’s younger brother – says he was taking the head to a superstitious music promoter who required it to make him, as celebs like putting it, blow up in the music industry. But surely, if you are going to make bad music, is there any amount of witchcraft that can help to turn it into a hit?

Let me state at least for legal reasons that I hope the killer is lying and the head was not asked for by the music promoter to turn his boring songs into hits. But interestingly, some locals here strongly believe the killer. Why else would you behead your own sibling, knowing you will never see him again after the rest of the body is buried, ever?

I also sincerely hope that the disgusted public will not boycott music concerts in sympathy with the dead boy whose life was lost in alleged bid to promote their business.

I used to hear bizarre stories of footballers taking all their training allowances to witchdoctors so they could be helped to get selected on the national team. Then I thought it was stupid. Now I realise it was a mild joke compared to what local musicians and music promoters are alleged to be doing.

Meanwhile, until the air is cleared on this matter and competent courts of law have pronounced themselves on this boy’s killing, I am not attending any other local concert. Let me put my patriotism on hold. Foreign cinema, here we come!