Love Across Borders: How Kenyans Abroad Celebrate Valentine’s Day

For many Kenyans living abroad, Valentine’s Day is marked by distance, demanding work schedules and personal change rather than shared dinners and red roses.

In Poland, 31-year-old Vincent Ndegwa is spending his third Valentine’s Day in a long-distance relationship. He and his partner have never shared 14 February in person. He says their relationship relies on consistency rather than grand gestures.

Vincent writes handwritten letters and keeps an annual journal documenting their journey, including challenges and milestones. When he travels to Kenya, he leaves the diary with his partner as a record of their shared experiences. “I’m really sentimental in writing down how I feel,” he says.

If he were home for Valentine’s Day, he would plan a late lunch or dinner and uninterrupted time together. For now, he says patience sustains them. For 28-year-old Phiona Mwangi, Valentine’s Day carries mixed memories. She recalls celebrating it during her fourth year at Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology, where she dressed up, received flowers and felt valued. In contrast, a later relationship ended on Valentine’s Day in 2024.

“It was winter. I was depressed,” she says, describing the period that followed. Months later, she decided to approach the date differently.

Last year, she and her roommates organised a Galentine’s event with food, wine, music and games. This year, she is planning a girls’ trip to Northern Ireland. The itinerary includes visits to Titanic Belfast, Dunluce Castle and Giant’s Causeway.

The trip will cost about Sh16,000 per person and will bring together women who have not previously met. Phiona says the aim is to build friendships while living abroad. Although she is casually seeing someone, she has made Galentine’s a personal tradition centred on friendship.

In Qatar, 35-year-old Kepha Ogembo approaches Valentine’s Day as a regular working day. Since 2023, he has worked as a CCTV operator, often beginning his shift at 3am.

“Valentine’s is just a normal working day for us,” he says. He notes that long hours leave limited time for elaborate celebrations.

Although his wife also lives in Qatar, their schedules rarely align. When they are both available, they spend time together at shopping centres such as Villaggio Mall and Place Vendôme Mall. These outings do not necessarily take place on Valentine’s Day but are arranged whenever possible. “The little time we get, that is quality for us,” he says.

Clement Onyango, a 30-year-old PhD student in Moscow, has also never spent Valentine’s Day in person with his partner, who lives on another continent. He focuses on regular communication and thoughtful gifts.

“For us, every day is Valentine’s Day,” he says, explaining that he prefers to express affection consistently rather than on a single date. Even so, he marks the occasion with intention and has sometimes spent more than Sh64,000 on gifts. When alone, he takes himself out for dinner before video-calling his partner.

He observes that restaurants and hotels in Moscow are often fully booked around 14 February, with flowers and chocolates prominently displayed in shops. If they were able to celebrate together, he says he would organise flowers, carefully chosen gifts and dedicated time.